What's Changed Lately
This is the Turtle Trax revision history for our fifth year. Some of the original links have been removed because the pages referred to have changed or no longer exist. In particular, we do not put Turtle Happenings pages in an archive, so the current page is unlikely to reflect the changes listed here.
New competition from SeaTurtleCam forced us at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) to take drastic action last week. We flung our doors wide and announced a limited-time offer of free admission, and we even sweetened the pot by dropping our usual exit fee too. (People often pay far more to get out than they did to get in...) 68 people rushed to take advantage, and 14 of them were so determined to get their money's worth they stayed until the bitter end. Two people actually demanded their places on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. Let's see SeaTurtleCam top that!
PS: Dear DBC(TM)Ws, the cheques are in the mail.
65 moms marched in the 65 Mom March Against Bandwidth Wastage last week. We at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) were the first target they marched on. We noticed that 5 of them were so outraged by the waste of precious bandwidth that they were paralyzed by anger until the final frame of the fantastic finale. As we expected, they all refused to be included on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. We're now waiting until our fathers get home.
Some malicious nasty persons (not us!) released the ILOVETHEBOGUSCAM virus last week. It was designed to seize control of your browser and force you to watch the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM), but a small mistake in the script crashed most browsers instead. This meant the virus went largely undetected, since most people expect the browser to crash a few times a day. 72 people actually showed up, however, and 10 of them could not figure out how to disinfect their systems before the spine-tingling conclusion. Quite naturally, none of them wanted to be included on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
A lawsuit launched by envious webcam operators claims that our Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) monopoly is hurting consumers and for the good of the net must not be allowed to continue. This inspired 53 people to show up last week to protest the proposed split-up of the BogusCam(TM) and Turtle Trax. 14 of the protestors felt so strongly that they remained until the fabulous finale was played out. One of them was even inspired to ask for a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. We want to stress that no consumers were harmed in the presentation of this BogusCam(TM).
In a fine demonstration of variety, a total of 57 people visited the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. Most of them seemed to be sympathetic to the pickle our hero the turtle finds himself in, but only 10 of them mustard enough strength to watch until the chilling climax, at which point the saucy villain's deeds finally ketchup to him. As it turned out, 4 people relished the show enough to ask to be included on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
The Big Bad Ole Bear visited Wall Street last week, sending stocks plunging and investors scurrying for cover. 68 of them sought refuge at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM), but it didn't work. Cell phones were chirping madly with margin calls, repeatedly interrupting the show and forcing us to eject investor after investor. Several tried leaping from windows, forgetting that the BogusCam(TM) is actually underwater. Only 7 were left by the time the spectacular climax was played out. Unfortunately, they were all so distressed that no one remembered to apply for the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Well, it's April and spring is in the air, the trees are starting to bud and flowers are poking their teenie shoots out of the ground--and exams are looming at colleges and universities all over. We can tell because 73 hard-studying students were cramming the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. Some were interested in animal behaviour, some in creative use of the media, some in sea turtle biology, some in cinematography, and some in the intricate and hard-to-grasp details of Quantum Bogodynamics. As usual, pre-exam stress took its toll, so heavily that only 7 diligent students completed the course of study. Although overwhelmed, one student even remembered that a graduate is entitled to be placed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, which is way better and more exclusive than the silly old dean's list.
News of the number of Oscar nominations for the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) drew 69 people last week. Nominations included Best Turtle, Best Shark, Best Supporting Turtle (2 nominations), Best Choreography by a Turtle, Best Bogus Cinematography, and Best Surprise Appearance by a ...well, it wouldn't be a surprise if we told you. As predicted by polls taken ahead of Oscar night by the Whaleskate Journal, we swept everything in sight. We'd like to thank the Academy for voting for us and especially the 13 stalwarts who lasted until the final frenetic sequence was played out. Oh, and special hugs and kissy-kisses for the 2 darlings who asked to be included on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. Have your people call our people, we'll do lunch!
We wanted to do spring cleaning on the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, and that forced us to shoo away 59 eager Bogonauts. Well, okay, so 4 of them kept sneaking back in and managed to hang around (lifting their feet when asked) long enough to see the scintillating supreme spectacle that marks the climax. Unfortunately, at that point we brought in the Belchfire 9000 "Big Sucker" vacuum and accidentally sucked them all up, so no one got to apply for a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. That really sucks.
Sure and begorrah, we paynted the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) green this week, and didn't the people show up in droves? Sure you know they did, 56 of the foinest Bogonauts you ever did see! They loined up noicely until they got insoid, but then a strange sensation seemed to sayze the lot of 'em and before ya know it, only 14 were left! Now these were the ones wit Oirish blud, ye could tell by their courage, staying through that spoin-chillin climax and all. Sure and 1 of 'em was even bold enough t'ask to be put on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, saints be praised! Watching is part of a good play, as me mudder used t'say.
We're baaaaaaaack! Didja miss us?
We apologise for letting things stagnate for the past two weeks, but believe us, the 20th Symposium drained all our energies and then some. It was worth it, though. Now we have just enough time to recharge for next year...
Well! We leave the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) alone for a couple of weeks and people trample each other in the rush to see it! Since we last reported our attendance, a mind-boggling (or should that be mind-boggled?) 212 viewers have sat down to have their spines chilled, their skin tingled, and their hair raised. Perhaps the crowd blocked the exits, because a whopping 30 Bogonauts stuck with it until the thrilling and inspiring climax. Not only that, 5 people were so carried away they asked to be placed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers! We are thinking about making the BogusCam(TM) a secret so the attendance will go through the roof.
The 20th Annual Sea Turtle Symposium starts next week, and we'll be there. Unfortunately, our preparations and attendance mean that we won't be making updates to Turtle Trax until our return on March 5. Check back then, and mahalo for your patience.
The Bogonaut counter for the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) acted up again last week, deciding for some reason to count only on every second day. We had 31 aspiring Bogonauts on the even-numbered dates last week, and probably thousands on the odd dates. On the even dates, a total of 5 people witnessed the thrilling conclusion of the stupendous spectacle. Needless to say, no one claimed a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers because you have to be odd to do that!
We're pretty busy getting ready for the 20th Annual Sea Turtle Symposium in Orlando at the end of the month, so updates are sparse this week.
Rumours that the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) was about to make an IPO brought 42 investment speculators around last week, or at least we're assuming that's what all those people watching really were. We actually did consider issuing stock at a nickel, and given the volatility of Internet stocks we figured we'd probably clear a dime by close of business. Unfortunately, we couldn't agree on what we'd do with the extra five cents, so the offering is postponed indefinitely. This news scared off most of the speculators, but 12 couldn't tear themselves away until they'd seen the shocking but spectacular outcome. Nary a one of them recovered from the drama enough to claim a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, though. (Compared to the BogusCam(TM), the Great Market Collapse of 1929 is a crashing bore.)
Well, at least 59 people preferred to watch the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) rather than the Stupor Bowl last week. Why? Because it's way better at building character! When the tough get going, they come to the BogusCam(TM). Yessir, that's where they learn to stay within themselves, overcome adversity, play hurt, and seize the momentum so they can go to the well one more time with that bread-and-butter play in a last-gasp effort to claw their way through that mile-long last yard to the big upset.
Okay, so not everyone's character can be built up that far. Only 11 try-outs survived the big cut, and not one of those was a serious Heisman candidate, so nobody made the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers last week. Wimps.
60 people crowded into the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, apparently confusing it with the All-candidates Debate for the US Presidential election that was being held across the street. Although some left, preferring to beat the bushes to find something with a higher gore content, 15 were unable to tear themselves away until they'd seen the rivetting finale. Two were so impressed they signed up for their rightful places on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers... or maybe they thought they were voting in a primary, we're not sure.
Seeking refuge from the winter cold snap, Bogonauts from the North American northwest boosted attendance at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) to 61 last week. Perhaps because they wanted to huddle together for warmth, 22 of them persisted all the way through the fascinating fantastic finale. In fact, 3 Bogonauts got so heated up they requested places on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers!
42 dissatisfied Y2K survivalists barricaded themselves inside the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, and threatened not to come out until the banking system collapsed, the water was shut off, and all the missiles in the former Soviet Union were launched. As the show progressed, however, the resolve of most of them weakened steadily and they fled screaming, one by one. When the dazzling ending had finally played itself out, only 9 were left. All of them had been reduced to helpless quivering shadows of their former selves, not one of whom had the strength to claim a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Flushed with the euphoria of having survived the Y2K crisis, 30 excited viewers crowded into the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) to celebrate. As the show progressed, however, several appeared to have second thoughts--or possibly the amount of coffee consumed prompted an urgent need to see a man about a horse, we're not sure. At any rate, by the time the stunning climax played out, only 9 people were still there to see it. The coffee probably made them hyperactive, because they all left without remembering to ask for a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
A dedicated band of 15 Bogonauts were in attendance last week to help determine whether the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) was Y2K-compatible. As the fateful hour approached, the tension proved too much for most. Only 5 remained to bear witness to the fact that not only does the BigusCam(TM) feature a stupifying climax, it is also free of Year 2000 bugs. So far. One witness was impressed enough to request to be added to the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Someone must have kidnapped most of the people who set out to come and view the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, because only 16 showed up. Despite the epidemic of dying grandmothers, sick cousins, and sudden recollections of dental appointments that broke out during the showing and caused many people to leave before the riveting climax, 6 people made seeing the whole show their highest priority. Pressing demands did prevent any of them from waiting to be added to the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
The holiday season is upon us and as the year draws to a close, 29 Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) viewers gathered to witness the awe-inspiring tale of a young turtle who, despite enormous handicaps, is determined to star in a Broadway musical. Despite the riveting plot and an astounding performance, however, only seven viewers remained to see the truly magnificent climax. None of them overcame their astonishment long enough to remember to claim a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. Unfortunately, the disappointing turnout has delayed plans for our Broadway opening. Watch this space.
Jingling bells and cheery Christmas carols drove 46 people to seek refuge by sitting down to watch the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. For reasons we have yet to understand, all but five of them decided that the incessant singing was preferable and left before seeing the unforgettable conclusion. Those that remained were all so stunned by the climax that all of them forgot to ask to be included on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Well, the Christmas shopping rush has started and as always, many people are in a dither trying to find a gift for that person who has everything. Many shoppers approached us with the hope that they could purchase the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) on videotape, but alas, we do not have such a thing. We did, however, offer an alternative. 48 intrepid gift-seekers took us up on our invitation to sit through a showing with videocamera trained on the screen, thereby adding the personal touch to that elusive unique gift. Oddly, only five people kept taping until the stupendous conclusion; however, one of them did ask to be immortalized on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers and Early Christmas Shoppers.
Thanks to the Thanksgiving holiday in the US, attendance at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) was down somewhat, as Americans turned their attention to other turkeys. Only 33 curiousity-seekers showed up, and these were probably not Americans since they were not too stuffed with stuffing to waddle up to their computers. On the other hand, perhaps the seven people who remained to see the thrilling ending were Americans who were too full to leave. Either way, one of them was impressed enough to want to be recorded on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
For no reason we can determine, 44 potential Bogonauts turned up to watch the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) over the past week, but only four of them stayed to witness the compelling climax. Pollsters at the exit were unable to draw any conclusions from the answers they received, which ranged from "It was stupendous but I have to go to my grandmother's funeral," to "Absolutely spectacular, but I have an appointment for a root canal." According to the poll results, all 44 would "...highly recommend this to, um, tax collectors and politicians." Everyone was in such a hurry to leave, no one remembered to apply for a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
45 Pokemon fans descended upon the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, under the mistaken impression that one of the stars was Squirtle. As the viewing progressed, it became clear that Squirtle was busy somewhere else last week and wouldn't appear. (We think he was attending a movie opening or something.) Despite the Pokemon no-show, 17 people remained glued to their seats until the mind-blowing finish faded from the screen. Clearly they were deeply impressed, because not one of them remembered to ask for a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
37 viewers hastened to see the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, and a whopping 35% (13 viewers) remained in their seats to see the stupendous ending, but none of them wanted to be added to the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. The excellent attendance was probably due to a federal court judge's ruling that the Internet's first and only genuine BogusCam(TM) was actually a monopoly. Fears that the judge would order other sites around the Web to begin operating imitation BogusCams(TM) proved to be groundless, however, as lengthy and difficult negotiations ultimately resulted in a settlement. We have agreed not to post the judge's name on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers and signed a consent order in which we state emphatically that we did not do anything wrong but we promise not to do it again.
45 sentient beings arrived to view the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. Several of them appeared to be human. It was difficult to be sure since most of them were in costume and were expecting to be given candy. We offered Milk Dudes and Sneakers bars, but that didn't seem to appeal to most creatures. Only 13 monsters and well known personalities stuck around for the hair-raising climax. Three of them, however, decided they would like to forever haunt the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
46 enthusiastic Bogonauts descended upon the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, all of them bright-eyed and eager to see the show. We're not sure what prompted the rush, but we suspect it might be something Howzit has been slipping into the I Bet You Don't Think This Is Butter that we put on the popcorn. Anyway... an amazing 13 of them managed to keep their popcorn down long enough to witness the stunning final scene. Three of them asked to be put on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. (We think Howzit must have messed with their soda pop...)
Over the past seven days, 35 souls sought enlightenment by setting their seats down before the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM). Sadly, the faith of many of them was not strong enough for the task they set themselves, for only five reached the illuminating awareness brought on by witnessing the one, the only, awe-inspiring climax! The revelation was too heady for those participating and being overcome with amazement, none of them remembered to request their rightful place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Last week, in an effort to boost attendance, we appointed a bald ex-wrestler as Official Governor of the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM). Since Jesse the Body Ventura was away being a brassiere, we had to settle for King Kong Bundy, 450 pounds of governorship that you can't refuse. Unfortunately, things didn't work out the way we planned, and only 33 people actually watched (several of them rather flattened by the experience). Eight of them did stay to see the stupendous ending, although we aren't sure how many of those were simply unable to find the exit. (KKB stood in front of it most of the week.) The experience impressed one of the viewers (not a flat one) enough to request immortalization on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
During the counting of the people attending the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, we discovered that one of us had been counting in Imperial units and the other in metric! By the time the error was discovered, only three of the 57 attendees were left to witness the mind-boggling conclusion. None of them felt inclined to join the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. We're terribly sorry about losing the other 54 and have implemented corrective procedures to ensure that this will not happen again.
By now, everyone has heard of the fantastic new ways to get on the internet. The phone company and the cable company are strapping on the gloves to duke it out over who gets to bring you the fastest and widest bandwidth. Do we at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) care? You bet we do! As purveyors of one of--if not THE--biggest wastes of bandwidth on the entire net, we have a vested interest in seeing that you have the most bandwidth you can get.
Of course, this bandwidth surplus might be having unexpected side effects. With so much to waste, it appears that many of you have simply given up! Last week, we had only 39 viewers, and only four of these had enough enthusiasm in them to hang on for the breathtaking finish. Not a single one remembered to claim a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. This just won't do, folks. Bandwidth is a wonderful thing to waste.
Well, it's back to school for a lot of kids, and we eagerly anticipated the attendance count at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM). Lots of hookey-players would hide out there, we figured. Then we thought of all the kids logging onto school computers to waste bandwidth, and we figured on another huge boost from that quarter. Well, the numbers are in, and guess what? Last week a piddling 25 people attended! That's pitiful. What is wrong with kids today, anyway? At least those who showed up were attentive--12 of them hung in right to the last extraordinary scene. One of them even asked for a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
We finally got out the old WD-40 and loosened up the rust on the ol' people counter at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. To our amazement, the numbers zipped all the way up to 33--and seized solid! Was this an accurate measure of our real popularity? It is hard to believe, isn't it? If this instrument is to be trusted, eight people stayed long enough to witness the staggering culmination. One of them recovered sufficiently to claim a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Although we find it difficult to understand, some people attending the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) don't want to stand up and be counted. This behaviour led to a partial count last week, but we did manage to enumerate 21 of the slippery little devils. We surprised six of these as they were paralyzed by the drama of the overwhelming climax. The effect on them was so immobilizong that none of them could recover enough to ask for a place the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
As you know, we like to count the people who attend the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) each week. We try to track the number who start watching and compare that to the number who are so enthralled that they remain fixated right through the stupendous climax. Unfortunately, last week we were afflicted with enumeresia. This is a little known but devastating mental condition that interferes with the ability to count. We therefore aren't sure about anything except the fact that three people wanted to be included on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. We think.
What happened at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week? Well, we had all the stats written down and ready to hand in, when--you're probably not going to believe this--the dog ate them. Really, we swear. He's a really nasty dog with a huge appetite, and it was either the stats or a hand. Easy choice, really. It wasn't a complete loss, however. By watching carefully, we ummm, got this scoop. One person requested a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
We regret to inform you that last week's attendance statistics for the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) are not available. Well, they are available, we just can't reveal them. As we were about to post the summary, two agents of a government agency (the existence of which is so secret that we aren't allowed to tell you its name) knocked on our door and declared all of our statistics vital to national security. Well, maybe not all--careful scrutiny of the secret restraining order uncovered one loophole. We think we're allowed to tell you that two people asked to be placed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. Maybe. If we're not here next week, you'll know why.
All right, we confess. We don't have a clue what happened at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. Six huge masked goons broke in and brandished tofu sandwiches, which they threatened to make us eat if we didn't hand over all our logs for the week. Well, what would you have done? Exactly. We therefore regret that we cannot tell you how many lucky viewers enthusiastically viewed the incredible climax, but we are confident that there were lots of them. Unfortunately, they were probably intimidated by the masked goons and so none of them asked to be added to the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Due to a critical shortage of bogons, we are unable to bring you this week's stats for the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM). We know that some of you have been lucky enough to visit when one of the sporadic shipments of bogons arrived, thus enabling you to watch the truly terrifying yet somehow fascinating events. One person even had enough bogons left over to request a position on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. To the best of our knowledge, no one has disappeared while watching... yet.
We know that a lot of people began watching the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week, but the exact number is a secret. Oh, we know what you're thinking, you're thinking that nobody actually watched--but that's not true. It's just that in the interests of world security, we simply cannot reveal the exact number. It was bigger than one. Way bigger. Same with the number of people who stayed until the final fabulous scene, that was bigger than one too. Lots and lots bigger. Tons. Ditto the number of people who wanted to be added to the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. It was huge. Humungous, we're here to tell you. Honest.
A major failure in the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) attendance counter prevents us from reporting the number of aspiring Bogonauts last week. Estimates based on previous weeks and our uncanny sixth sense for these things are that we probably had about 1,756 viewers and 2,922 who watched the whole show. We suspect that if our requesting mechanism had not also suffered massive failure, 3,609 would have wanted to be placed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. Unfortunately, only one such request actually got through.
There were only 31 entrants in the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) Watching Contest last week. Although all could have won a prize, not everyone did. When the dust settled, only nine stalwarts managed to hang on for the fabulous climax. They were pleased to learn that the skill-testing question at the end was, "Do you want to be added to the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers?" Two people got the right answer (yes).
We've just arrived on Maui for the summer and haven't recovered from the transition yet, so this week's update is rather sparse.
We had 39 viewers for the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. Unfortunately, 16 of them had to leave early to catch a plane, another 9 couldn't stay because they had to attend funerals of dead grandmothers, and 5 more suddenly remembered that they had appointments to have a root canal done. Nine people did watch the entire showing, but we suspect that the noise that plagued the sound track was actually snoring from several of them. Two people claimed a place on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, one aged five and the other eight. They were the ones who were giggling.
35 people showed up for the Annual Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) Pride Week parade, but we don't have a parade so they had to watch the BogusCam(TM) instead. This turned out to be less prideful than some could take, resulting in a dropout rate over 75%! Just 9 viewers had enough pride to wait for the mind-boggling final scenes, and only two were proud enough to take their places on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers.
Well, the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) started summer re-runs last week with the expected dropoff in viewers: only 37 people tuned in! Of those, only 7 watched the entire performance and just two could not resist the opportunity to join the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers. Although these numbers are small, they do represent an enormous 100 share of the viewers watching BogusCams(TM).
We tested the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) for Y2K compliance last week, and inadvertently sent the 47 viewers who stopped by back to the year 1900. We apologized for the inconvenience, but only four of them forgave us the booboo and stayed to watch the eye-popping finish. One of them wound up in a mood forgiving enough to request to be placed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers--sort of. It was a half-asked request, actually.
Now, we know that there are a lot of new cable and DSL modems out there, and so bandwidth wastage has become a major league sport. The problem is, many of you are going for low quality wastage: downloading Netscape, streaming video from broadcast.com, that sort of thing. Might we remind you that here at the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) we provide only high quality, completely useless bandwidth wastage. Last week, only 42 people took advantage of our offer, and just seven of them finished what they started! Two of them were proud enough to ask to be placed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, which pleases us greatly, but the potential is so much greater. Remember, bandwidth is a wonderful thing to waste.
The sudden appearance of bootleg videotape and mp3 copies of the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) probably accounted for the mediocre turnout of 50 viewers last week. We are skeptical of claims that the proliferation of disgustingly low quality copies will inspire people to flock to see the real thing. Viewers of shoddy copies also do not get the opportunity to be immortalized on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, an honour chosen by two of the 15 viewers who stuck around to witness the stupifying conclusion. Boycott bogus BogusCams, see the only genuine BogusCam(TM) here at Turtle Trax!
An amazing total of 43 people watched the Awesomely Way Cool BogusCam(TM) last week. This demonstrates the powerful draw of the BogusCam(TM) as it successfully lured viewers away from that other attraction that opened last week. What was it again, Star something? We just love William Shatner...
All 43 settled in for the long haul, but unfortunately, only 6 of them managed to hang in until the stupendously spectacular ending. We thought some of them would want to be listed on the List of Distinguished BogusCam(TM) Watchers, but noooo, they all wanted BogusCam(TM) Action Figures instead.
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